Patreon Poll Special - Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys (w/Corey Lynn Atencio)

Our Patreon voters strike back, forcing our hand to watch 1996’s Captain Simian & The Space Monkeys. With the brave assistance of Corey Lynn “River Mayor” Atencio (@BonfireBabble), we set a course for The Galaxy of Uncomfortably Hot Primates. Engage!

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
4 out of 4 podcast hosts walked away from this episode with new sexual baggage • You’re about to learn a LOT about Orbitron • From the creator of all Barbie movies • We chatted about this show two weeks later and realized it was basically all a dream • a really hot dream about Nathan Simian

Today’s Episode Sponsor: Become a Seagull™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Captain Simian Episode 1, “Yes We Have No Bananas”

• Captain Simian Episode 2, “Yes We Still Have No Bananas”

The Hosts: Andrew Eric Davison, Austin Bridges, Rory Voie
Fabulous Guest: Corey Lynn Atencio
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison

Teen Wolf - A Horny, Hairy Halloween

OH BOY do we have a spooktastic surprise for you today—Austin got a REAL LIVE WOLFMAN* to guest star on the podcast for the extremely real Teen Wolf cartoon. By the end you’ll be HOWLING with laughter!

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Teen Wolf Episode 1, “Teen Wolf’s Family Secret”

• Teen Wolf Episode 2, “Grandpa’s in the Doghouse”

The Hosts: Andrew Eric Davison, Austin Bridges, Rory Voie
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison

Patreon Poll Special - TigerSharks

Patrons voted, and we’ve returned with the bounty of their dark harvest: 1987’s TigerSharks, the most diminished return from House Thundercats with one shining exception: Dragonstein, the dragon frankenstein. This will be the rest of the episode.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
If the whole point of your superpower was to be fish, guess how many were mammals • ‘The Comic Strip’ was bad and someone needed to say it • Everyone loves this cool buzzsaw jetski • There’s kind of a team magma/team aqua vibe to these villains • The ship does a wiggle to win

Today’s Episode Sponsor: Teen Beef™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• TigerSharks Episode 1, “Voyage to Water-o”

• TigerSharks Episode 2, “SARK to the Rescue”

The Hosts: Andrew Eric Davison, Austin Bridges, Rory Voie
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison

Special - Lazer Tag Academy (w/Rashawn Nadine Scott) (and introducing Ray Lazer)

Imagine another time — the year 3000, a “perfect” world with wizard guns and no crime. That’s the reality of 1986’s Lazer Tag Academy, and our special guest Rashawn Nadine Scott helps us really blast it into oblivion.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
You’ll love our Fiddler spinoff starring Lazer Minnelli • Future humans made all lions their bitch • A villain who wants to erase history belligerently sees no problem with that • Let’s not admit Jeren is a terrible name • We give no slack to Tom’s choice of rubbie duckie quips • The Jerens literally choose to fight for the confederacy(??)

Today’s Episode Sponsor: Andy Definitely Has Gold Hidden In His Basement™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Lazer Tag Academy Episode 1, “The Beginning”

• Lazer Tag Academy Episode 2, “Skugg Duggery”

The Hosts: Andrew Eric Davison, Austin Bridges, Rory Voie
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison

Pole Position, or The Cave of Rory Riddlemouth

Before the Big Bang created a universe of Bazingas, Sheldonfather Chuck Lorre wrote for a short-lived cartoon called Pole Position. How badly will a family of stunt drivers neglect their attention-starved baby sister and her dog-monkey? Buckle up!

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
We’ve Greeked it again • The ol’ “Triple Agent” gambit really eats shit in this one • Tess and Greg Dumont get freaky at the stoplight • You can’t apply to become general • They drew the wrong old white doctor

Today’s Episode Sponsor: McDonald’s Adult PlayPlaces™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Pole Position Episode 1, “The Code”

• Pole Position Episode 2, “The Canine Vanishes”

The Hosts: Andrew Eric Davison, Austin Bridges, Rory Voie
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison

Patreon Poll Special - Clone High (w/Alison Lührs)

Dust off your vials of old-timey DNA and laugh along with Alison “Bees of the Southern Wild” Lührs’ favorite cartoon, Clone High! That’s right, we watched the recently renewed CLONE HIGH and have appropriately tempered our expectations.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Austin laps at a log for morsels like the Point Anteater he is • We’re willing to let Rory dislike the show, so long as he never tells us or anyone • We know this is an audio podcast, but trust us, we all did synchronized cabbage patches • We’re dying to know more about Dreidelstein and King Kwanzaa

Today’s Episode Sponsor: Norman and the Horse™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Clone High Episode 2, “Election Blu-Galoo”

• Clone High Episode 11, “Snowflake Day: A Very Special Holiday Episode”

The Hosts: Andrew Eric Davison, Austin Bridges, Rory Voie
Fabulous Guest: Alison Lührs
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison

Patreon Poll Special - Jem (w/Amalia Larson)

We were selected to be special guests at Minnesota’s premiere vaping convention, CloudCon 2020! Please enjoy keynote speaker, Amalia “Jazz Police“ Larson, as she joins our hazy recollection of 1985’s Jem at the request of our fabulous Patrons.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
The clouds you make are the ones you take • Jem screlts a high A and Amalia is NOT havin it • You gotta watch out for floods and also canyon murder • Everyone, Look At My Starving Child Prop • Let’s learn about the backend for record sales

Today’s Episode Sponsor: A Phantom of the Opera Alarm Clock from the 90s™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Jem Season 1 Episode 9, “The World Hunger Shindig”

• Jem Season 2 Episode 4, “One Jem Too Many”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Seattle)
Fabulous Guest: Amalia Larson (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

Patreon Poll Special - Dungeons & Dragons

Our Patrons have once again taken the reins and steered our podcast horses back to Dungeons & Dragons, a TV show about a carnival ride about a game that, according to Pastor Steve, forged my unbreakable bond with Satan.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Rory’s highest concept yet might run us afoul of Drew Carey • The Adventures of Melba Toast Man • Eric is a Difficult Person • Bogbeast? Horny teen? There’s an ancient prophecy for that • The magic hat is even more precocious than the already chaotic-neutral Dungeon Master • Apparently there’s like tons of children born of Stargazer ilk, making prophecies everywhere just steamed

Today’s Episode Sponsor: (Council of) Council of Dads (A Council of Dads Fancast)™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Dungeons & Dragons Episode 6, “Beauty and the Bogbeast”

• Dungeons & Dragons Episode 21, “Child of the Stargazer”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

Council of Council of Dads: A Council of Dads Fancast

Spring is a time of joyous rebirth. The Childish Podbaby Saturday Morning Tuesdays is gone, and now we proudly present our adult Podfather about NBC’s hit new drama, Council of Dads. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll dad your pants.

Patreon Poll Special - DuckTales

The votes are in, and the winner of our first Patreon poll goes to nostalgic 80s darling DuckTales, starring Walt Disney self-insert OC Scrooge McDuck. (If you, too, want to dictate what cartoons we watch, all you gotta do is help us fill our very own money bin)

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Austin tries to use our podcast to launch his Broadway career • Barbara Walters impressions are still lame in 2020 • A moratorium on crows with hats • Stinky Uncle Catfish revives our old nemesis, contract law • Elephants are the world’s most untapped labor force

Today’s Episode Sponsor: Ken Doll But With Realistic Parts™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• DuckTales Episode 6, “Send in the Clones”

• DuckTales Episode 61, “Once Upon A Dime”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

Special - Daria (w/Amalia Larson)

We’re joined in the studio once again by Amalia “Soap Toes” Larson to examine MTV’s patron saint of Generation X, Daria. So crank up the grunge, slam a pog, shred your denim, and remember those who bravely fought in the Boomer Uprising of ‘97.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Men really ought to add some entertainment features ~down there~ • The Vengaboys are coming to claim your bananas • Justice for Quinn Morgendorfer • The best days end with a bonus sock • If your teen has low self-esteem, you probably haven’t yelled at them enough

Today’s Episode Sponsor: The 2020 Alvin and the Chipmunks Convention™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Daria Episode 1, “Esteemsters”

• Daria Episode 2, “The Invitation”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Seattle)
Fabulous Guest: Amalia Larson (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

Special - Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light

Sometimes a show comes along that unites us in our desire to utterly and completely destroy it, and this time it’s 1987’s Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light. Join Merklynn the Centrist Wizard as he foists powers upon the ruling class in return for vague favors. Chaos, naturally, ensues.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Dirty nuts, clean nuts, you know I’ve had my share • No sooner is Merklynn done with his 20 minute explanation of the show than the Spectral Knights immediately disappoint us with their poor judgement • The eternal tale of a man and his trapdoor into our hearts • The power discrepancy between heroes and villains demands a balance patch

Today’s Episode Sponsor: Dad’s Old Big Box of Cables™

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Visionaries Episode 1, “The Age of Magic Begins”

• Visionaries Episode 2, “The Dark Hand of Treachery”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

Klaus - A Saturday Morning Tuesdays Movie Night

As our third season draws to a close, and Father Winter slinks down your domestic smokehole to deliver his damp secrets, we thought it’d be fun to watch an honest-to-goodness movie on the pod: the all-new, all-Netflix Santa origin tale, Klaus!

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
This is a Joan Cusack podcast and Andys don’t get a vote • Santa finally chops the Chekhov’s Wood by the end of the movie • Kids famously hate the mail • and Spielbergs hate the Internet • Learn the value of a dollar and a woman’s love

Today’s Episode Sponsor: Danny DeVito and the Christmas Mouse™

THIS WEEK'S MOVIE

• Netflix’s “Klaus”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (San Diego)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

Special - Mighty Max (w/Dominique Thomas)

Don your historically accurate magic baseball cap and travel back to the world of ‘90s toy marketing. Special guest Dom “Not Mad At Us This Time” Thomas joins us for the story of a boy being routinely taken out of school to party with a chicken wizard.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Dom must’ve been playing Zelda recently • Max scientifically explains to children that monsters are legit real • The Pizza Loophole gets past all the warding charms • An eccentric Texan makes everything better • Kids continue to loooove contract law

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Mighty Max - Season 1, Episode 9, "Less than 20,000 Squid Heads Under the Sea"

• Mighty Max - Season 2, Episode 8, "Along Came Arachnoid"

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (San Diego)
Fabulous Guest: Dominique Thomas (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

A Modestly Haunted Adult Halloween

It’s our Halloweeniest special of the year, but here’s the deal: we’re adults. We get to pick the candy and the shows, and this time it’s all treats baybee. King of the Hill returns with SMT newcomer Freakazoid! for the exact level of spooky we’re in the mood for: mild.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
The safeguards remain in place for further Sinbad-based threats • A lightbulb expert makes a swing and a miss • Freakazoid can always turn to relentless shaming as a last resort • Hank teaches Luanne about the birds but definitely no bees • Austin ate the Goblin Corn from CVS

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Freakazoid! - Episode 2A, "Candle Jack”/”The Cloud"

• King of the Hill - Season 7, Episode 9, "Pigmalion"

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland), Rory Voie (San Diego)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

100th Epizode Zuper-Zpecial: The Bots Master (w/Kyle Levien)

We’ve officially been doing this for ONE HUNDRED EPISODES, and what better way to complete the ritual and welcome the End Times than choke down the worst(?) cartoon ever made, The Bots Master. Special guest and founding member Kyle “Was Born A Bird” Levien joins us once again to put a stake in its cold, evil heart. It’s Laser Time!

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Austin thinks ‘Ninjzz’ was created to rhyme something with ‘hinges’ for the rap song • In a stunning display of hat stacking, there is a character that is your mom, a robot, and Napoleon Bonaparte • In this Bizarro Universe, a tiny shrieking child is the best part of the show • Jessica Fletcher’s Anime Mysteries really fires up the Small Boy

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• The Bots Master - Episode 1, “Adios, ZZ”

• The Bots Master - Episode 38, “Momzz”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Seattle), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Kyle Levien (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

Bionic Six - Power Daddy Frog Wrestling (w/Spencer Davenport)

Spencer “Greased Frightening” Davenport becomes a foster brother in our podcast family for our latest dispatch from the bowels of the 1980s. Today’s dump-truck truck-dump is Bionic Six, which follows a family of robo-frankensteins battling angry snow, hot cheese, and more than one Jonathan.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Don’t name the Japanese boy “Karate” • Eastern Europe has too many real trolls • This is what it sounds like—when frogs cry • Your mom and dad are sexually active, and your sister is too • To break the witch’s curse, enter the frog’s mouth tongue-first

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Bionic Six - Episode 10, “Bionics On! The First Adventure”

• Bionic Six - Episode 43, “Once Upon a Crime”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Seattle), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Fabulous Guest: Spencer Davenport (Seattle)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

The ‘Spiral Zone’ Zone - A Game of Zones

We don’t like to throw around the term “unwatchable” all that often, but after seeing 1987’s Spiral Zone, we cancelled any and all other chances to watch it. How can a show starring Dirk Courage and the ass-whippingest theme song in existence suck so much? Welcome to the Zone, Mr. President.

This week on Saturday Morning Tuesdays:
Zone • zone • zone • zone • zone

THIS WEEK'S EPISODES

• Spiral Zone - Episode 1, “Holographic Zone Battle”

• Spiral Zone - Episode 12, “The Impostor”

The Boys: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Seattle), Rory Voie (Taipei)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)

I've Read Dune, Chapters 9-10: Mom Can't Know

Today is our last recorded episode of “I’ve Read Dune, With Rory Voie” - but don’t be sad, because our regular cartoon podcast will resume in two weeks, on September 10. See you then, and thanks for listening!

The Boys: Rory Voie (Taipei), Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)
Beautiful Theme: Kyle Levien (Seattle)

I've Read Dune, Chapter 8: For Why Does A Young Boy Pine?

Austin is sure to get an A in English 101 for his astute analysis of this week’s chapter. His juxtapositions are out of control, everyone knows that.

The Boys: Rory Voie (Taipei), Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle), Austin Bridges (Portland)
Audio Production: Andrew Eric Davison (Seattle)
Beautiful Theme: Kyle Levien (Seattle)